So many emotions were felt yesterday and today, mostly of sadness.
I grieve for the families who have lost a little one(s), I grieve that the place where most children feel the safest was turned into a child's worst nightmare, I grieve because there will be dozens of unopened presents this Christmas. I'm grieving because this nation is full of wickedness that I wish SO MUCH that I could shield my two children from.
It worries me that my children are so young, so innocent, and have their whole life ahead of them, yet this world is full of monsters like the man who angrily & purposely killed young beautiful children. I'm so speechless..
I have had so many thoughts today. Every time a tragedy like this happens, at least one friend who does not know Christ asks me how could a good God allow this to happen. Sometimes I could just imagine Him grieving up in Heaven, looking down on mankind, watching the evil choices we make. And I always have the same answer: God gave man a free will, He didn't create us as puppets, but gave us the gift of free will. He LETS us choose whether or not we want to follow Him. So why do bad things happen? Why did twenty six people get murdered yesterday, why did hundreds of innocent people die when the World Trade Center collapsed eleven years ago? How could a young heartless man like Adam Lanza plan this, but the truth is this, found in Jeremiah 17:9: "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. Who can know it?" This world without God is a hopeless and sad place. The answer remains the same, man without Christ is evil. I also know God is Sovereign, He knows what will happen before we do, and sometimes He does allow things to happen for the purpose of drawing us back to Him.
When I found out the news yesterday, it didn't quite sink in right away. I didn't want to believe it. I was shocked, but then I wasn't. When the news did sink in, I couldn't help but turn my face away from my daughter and cry. I can't even watch the news anymore without seeing some disturbing story appear, and honestly, whenever I watch the news, it puts my heart in a bad place. I end up over-worrying when I need to be trusting God to take care of my children. I so wish I could tell my children that bad things won't happen and that this world is full of sugar and spice and everything nice. I saw many posts on facebook yesterday saying how they (mothers) will home school their children from now on.. well, that's good, but you can't escape evil. You just can't. Banning guns won't solve the problem either. Evil is inevitable and everywhere. PEOPLE NEED TO TURN BACK TO THEIR CREATOR. How amazing would it be if every person in this world followed Christ, how beautiful would that be. But we all know that this world has to get worse in order to be better.
I am so grateful that my kids are here beside me right now playing with their toys, safe and sound, I am thankful that I have another day with them. We aren't guaranteed tomorrow though, and my heart is so heavy for the families whose lives were forever shattered yesterday.
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