Death

The title of this post caught you off guard didn't it?

"What would you do if I died?"

My husband asked this today after he came home from work while we were sitting in the living room. We were going over our finances as we always do, and he popped that question. It kind of took me by surprise, and he said that this was something we should go over and talk about once in a while. I remember going over this before deployments but had (purposely) long forgotten those discussions. I mean really, who enjoys talking about death?

What WOULD I do if he died? We started talking about where I'd move, what would happen to our home, if I'd get rid of everything, etc... and honestly I had tears in my eyes the whole discussion, because as scary as it is, we really aren't guaranteed tomorrow.

What's even stranger is that I've been thinking a little about death ever since the Aurora shootings a couple weeks ago. Some crazy guy just happens to walk into a random movie theater and goes to town shooting everyone. Just the thought of that scares me. I'm not saying that I suddenly freak out every time I go out at all, but knowing that things like that can happen and could even happen to me, freaks me out.

Last year during Rich's last deployment, my sister got in a car accident. I remember it like it was yesterday. She was driving her car, and my brother & I were following her home in the van. Unfortunately the vehicle in front of my sister at the time was a huge truck filled with tons of wood, and I remember random pieces of wood flying out the back. We were all on the highway at the time (and I might add that it was rush hour so it was pretty busy), and I moved into the right lane in hopes that my sister would do the same. Too late. A huge piece of wood flew out, hit the front of her car, making her completely swerve. Her car literally turned completely around (while she was driving 70mph) and landed near the median. She missed slamming into the guard rail by literally a few inches. My brother pulled the van over as soon as he could and as traffic slowed down, we ran over to her to see if she was ok. Surprisingly and miraculously, she didn't have a scratch on her. To be honest with you, I was expecting to get over there and see her either dead or seriously hurt. That's how bad it looked from watching the whole thing. And the car had minor damage.

But see, even something like that was so random and you wouldn't even expect it on your drive home from work. Freak accidents happen all the time, and you never really know if today is your last day. There's quotes and songs out there that say "Live like you are dying" or "Live as if he deploys tomorrow.." I'm not saying that you should live in fear because ultimately God is in control, and God is the One holding your life in His hands. Living in constant fear is the opposite of what He wants you to do, but at the same time, realize that each day is a gift, that life is that fragile, and always remind yourself to hug a little tighter, love stronger, and be thankful for those in your life. More importantly, DO you know where you're going after you die? Do you know that every one is born with a soul, that either goes to heaven or to hell? And that it's not about how good you've lived your life or how much you've sinned? That there's a God who literally loves you and gave His life for you that if you accept His free gift of salvation, that you'd live with Him forever? A lot of people forget about that part and even dismiss it as something stupid and untrue.

Every day there is a family who loses someone they love, so be thankful every day when you go to bed at night and the people in your family are safe, in bed, and healthy.

Sorry this was such a depressing serious post.. I think right now I am going to go snuggle my kids. =)