If You Asked..

If you asked, I'd tell you that I've learned so much more about motherhood since I've had my second.. it is amazing how much of a gift being a mother really is, yet it is equally as humbling. I am learning more about myself than ever before, and there are days where I feel ashamed because I wish I had more patience, more energy, more time.. but thankfully, God gives more grace for each day.

If you asked, I'd tell you how amazed I am at how smart & amazing my little girl is. I mentioned in my last post how much older she seems to me now that we have a new tiny baby in our home. Lilly is one of the most confident, fearless, & willing-to-help little people I know! I love that little girl so so much. I recently saw a quote from Dr. Seus (haha!) that said, "A person's a person, no matter how small." And that really opened my eyes, that even though my children are small and young, each of them still have their own real personalities and are growing and watching every move you make to follow in your footsteps.

If you asked, I'd tell you how indescribable it is snuggling a newborn. I'm typing this as my littlest is nursing. It's amazing how dependent newborns are on you; I think that's an amazing thing. There is nothing like a content child sleeping in your arms or clinging to you like you are everything he needs.

If you asked, I'd tell you that I ran for the first time since I was seven months pregnant. AWESOME feeling to get that runners' high again! LOVE IT. I'm almost back to my prebaby weight.. yet I am pretty content with where I am at now because I've been doing tons of crossfit-type workouts since 2 weeks after I gave birth and I'm already in decent shape. I know I won't completely lose everything because breastfeeding requires more calories, and that's ok, because I'd rather give nourishment to my baby than be focused on my body. It's just one year.

If you asked, I'd tell you much I admire and love my husband. He is such a hard-working person, and one of the most honest & loyal people I have in my life. Lately it has been pretty hard to spend one on one time with each other, even to just talk in peace without one of the kids vying for our attention or crying.. but at the same time, I already know that our love is so strong & eventually, we will have that alone time again when the kids are a little older.

If you asked, I'd tell you that I really miss painting. I actually started a painting for the first time since pregnant, and it felt so good to whip out the pencils and brushes again! I miss putting my creativity onto the canvas.. but like I just said, my kids are much more important, and my time is theirs for now.

If you asked, I'd tell you that I secretly wish I could move my little family to CT. I miss my hometown and family so much.. and I think it's because I am older and have a family of my own that I miss them that much more. But God placed us here for now, but that doesn't mean I can't pray every day that maybe just maybe we will move to CT someday, haha!

If you asked, I'd tell you that I am really wanting to eat one of those brownies that Lilly & I baked this afternoon for Daddy. BUT you know what? I am not going to eat any because that's how much I don't want my little one to be fussy tomorrow! (Remember, I have to eat dairy-free or else baby R will literally get so fussy!)

If you asked, I'd tell you that I can't believe that my Lilly will be turning THREE next month! YIKES, where'd the time go. Time to start planning for her little party!

If you asked, I'd also tell you that I can't believe my little sister is getting married in two months! I am so incredibly happy for her & Mike! Makes me that much sadder that I can't be up there to help plan!!

And if you asked, I'd tell you that my little guy just made the world's loudest poop, SO i gotta go now and change that diaper!! =)

Have a good evening!!